After two months in Israel, my friend Ethan and I booked a jam packed 2 day/1 night tour to Jordan through AbrahamTours in Tel Aviv. I’m not a huge fan of these pre-organized trips since there is little freedom of choice and they are typically quite expensive; but as two Jews with no knowledge or contacts in Jordan, we decided it was the best option for us. It ended up being a fascinating trip; the bus, restaurants, and accommodations were A+. The tour was all inclusive, meaning we paid the hefty bill and the rest was done for us. The bus picked us up at Abraham Hostel in Tel Aviv, drove us all around Jordan, and dropped us back off in Israel at the end. Petra has always been high up on my bucket list as it’s one of the new 7 wonders of the world, but the tour also took us to Jerash and Amman!
Jerash was originally founded as a Hellenisitic city and its main lure are the Roman and Byzantine ruins. Jerash was actually one of the most wealthy and cosmopolitan cities of the ancient East. Is it obvious I googled that? While exploring Jerash this random man offered to take a photo for us and he was just a smidge too dedicated on getting us the perfect pano. It was a full blown photoshoot and it took far too long to be socially acceptable. Please see below in all their cringy glory.
After wandering around Jerash we went to Amman, the capital of Jordan. It’s by far the most developed city but unfortunately we only took a brief pitstop there to try Kanafeh, a local sweet delicacy. Our stop was so short that I didn’t take any pics so here are some more of Jerash instead!
We then drove to our accommodations for the night where we slept in an upgraded Bedouin campsite. It was very cute n cozy but definitely not how actual Bedouins lived. At night we all sat around a campfire, smoked hookah, and drank delicious tea under the stars. The following morning we woke up with the sunrise, ate a local breakfast, and then left for Petra to beat the crowds.
Petra is an insanely massive and detailed archaeological complex dating back to 5th century BC. An earthquake in 363 AD did destroy a lot of the structures but there are many still standing today (that fact I actually remembered from our tour guide!). Just kiddingggg of course it was from Google. The facades carved into the mountainous stone are mind boggling to look at as it was built in a time without machinery. Without a tape measure? A ruler??? I just cant comprehend… like…how?!?!?
Our tour guide informed us that if a single mistake was made the entire project was scrapped. So throughout the complex you can see half built facades with a minor imperfection. The ones that are fully built are masterful pieces of art that I still can’t wrap my brain around.
Ok enough history lets jump to the part where my body melted off with the sun’s great wrath.
After exploring the famous Petra treasury, the royal tombs, and the colonnade with our tour guide, Ethan and I hiked up over 800 steps to see the monastery. It was quite the sunny uphill battle but the views made it worth it. Pro tip: there were barely any tourists as only the real ones make the trek up.
After returning from the hike, we realized we were supposed to meet our tour group back at the bus… a good 35 minute walk away. Our waters had run out hours ago so our mouths were as dry as the dessert we stood in. Ethan caved and bought a bajillion dollar chia seed drink as we were friggen parched. I, being the stingy Jew that I am, refused to buy the overpriced beverages. I shall wait till lunch for my free water thank you very much.
We attempted to speed-walk to the bus but I imagine it looked more like a hurried crawl. We couldn’t stop joking and laughing about how sweaty and exhausted we were. My vision started to blur a little and my head was pounding. The laughing morphed into a delusional cackle as my walk became even slower. My brain felt like a pile of mashed potatoes and I couldn’t form complete sentences without giggling. Oh! I forgot to mention I was wearing an all black outfit, no hat, and no sunscreen. It’s almost like I was given the playbook on how to dehydrate myself as quickly as possible.
We were obviously running late since I was mirroring a turtle on crutches; so Ethan ran up ahead to make sure our bus wouldn’t leave without us. I was legit mumbling nonsense and chuckling to myself while he was gone… it was quite the site. Ethan managed to meet the bus in time and then run all the way back to me to confirm they’re waiting. His athleticism and stamina through the heat still impresses me to this day. His mustache? Not so much.
He was trying to encourage me to speed up but I wasn’t doing so hot so he bought me an overpriced blue gatorade for electrolytes. I chugged the whole thing in about 3 seconds flat. When we finally got on the bus the whole tour group clapped for me and my tardiness. Very embarrassing but also very deserved. I couldn’t care less about the embarrassment because the AC on that bus truly felt better than sex. My face was pressed up on that vent the whole ride to the restaurant.
When we arrived at lunch there was this gorgeous buffet of food for us to eat. I normally would be 6 ½ plates deep, but I somehow wasn’t hungry. The whole table was chatting and getting to know each other as I sat there silently listening; which is VERY unusual for me. Silent isn’t really an adjective that’s typically used to describe me. An older gentleman at the table asked me if I was alright and I nodded yes. He asked me how much water I had drank and I told him a few bottles. He then felt my pulse and immediately told me I had heat stroke. Turns out he’s a doctor who informed me that a common sign of heat stroke is silence. I guess your body tries to reserve energy by shutting you the f*ck up. He also told me that water isn’t the best thing to drink as your body has lost so much potassium through sweat that you need salt instead. So he made me drink a nasty salt water concoction and assured me that with time I would feel like a complete human again.
That night we drove back to Israel and my body was so lethargic that I slept the entire way. After we got dropped off, Ethan and I parted ways and I walked to my friends place to crash before I flew to Thailand the next morning. I went into a store to grab some dinner and I spent around 20 minutes looking at the pasta options. I felt so aloof that I ended up choosing the easiest option: Kraft mac n cheese. When in doubt, go back to childhood comfort food. When I got to my friend’s place I still felt so off. He had a few friends over but I sat on the corner of the couch in silence again. To be fair, they were all speaking Hebrew which I couldn’t understand anyways lol. My face was really red and my body felt like it was being dragged down by a weighted blanket; so I put myself to bed. I passed the heck out and woke up feeling like a new woman. Moral of the story: don’t wear all black and refuse overpriced drinks when you’re wandering through the Jordanian desert!
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